I love this quote from Charlotte Bronte’s book Jane Eyre: “I can live alone if self-respect and circumstances require me to do so. I need not sell my soul to buy bliss. I have an inward treasure born with me which can keep me alive if all the extraneous delights should be withheld or offered only at a price I cannot afford to give.” I had a print with this quote in my office for years and so many men and women asked for it that I made copies to give them. I think that it applies to so much more of life than living alone. Good examples of this are staying in a job or career which just doesn’t fit, may never fit or simply is no longer right. Keeping a friendship which is no longer friendly and makes you feel bad. This applies to family too. Someone will be talking to me about a family member who causes them extraordinary pain. I ask “would you be friends with this person if she/he was not a relative.” Usually the response is instantaneously “no.” This is a tough one because then what often follows is “but they are family.” Why … Continue reading →

Hello, and welcome to my website and blog! From time to time I will post thoughts, notions and ideas which I think you may find useful or at least thought provoking. People sometimes say “I need to be responsible and own what I do.” Yes, that seems right a lot of the time. But it needs to be sincere. Many of us wince when a public figure after doing something wrong, or really, really wrong piously says “I take full responsibility” and you just know that they do not! But in our interpersonal relationships we also need to let others be responsible as well as keep our own house in order and sometimes we need to “own it a little less.” Give the other party the room to own their part and not feel like we always have to have control.